Through My Eyes

The World the Way I see It

Quote of the Day

Edgar_Allan_Poe_daguerreotype_crop Quote- “They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.” Edgar Allan Poe

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My Love for Edgar Allan Poe

Edgar Allan Poe became one of my favorite writer’s early on in middle school. I got into so much trouble with him in school, one because I was always reading his writings when I should be doing school work and two because I would try to mimic his style of writing in Language class. I was sent to both the principal and the school counselor….neither was amused. These people introduced me to the wonderful world of Edgar Allan Poe and then get mad when I fall madly in love with his writings. They enticed to love him but then chastised me for doing so.

Even from those days long ago the American public school system has a long way to go. Hell, I don’t think that they even teach the children about him anymore. My children only know him because I read his writings to them; I teach them about one of the greatest authors that have ever lived, as well as many other great classic authors that they no longer learn about in school. The school system is failing because they are too up-tight about political correctness to teach all of the classics. They who dream by day are cognizant…. indeed.

Picture Reference

Wikipedia. (2016). [Edgar Allen Poe]. Retrieved from

When Life Gets in the Way


I know that it has been quite some time since I have published anything and for that I am truly sorry. Life has gotten in the way. Between school, kids, parents, husband, stress, health issues and just life in general writers block has set in but I hope that is about to change. Normally, writing is the way that I calm and re-center myself but that has been impossible lately. So I would like to help others to overcome challenges like these with a few tips that may help.

For people who enjoy writing, writer’s block can be a nightmare. Writing is our way of releasing tension and for some it is a way de-cluttering our thoughts as well. So in a sense writer’s block can be just as stressful and frustrating as all of the other things going on in your life. Here are some tips that have helped me and some that I am going to give a try myself, so we will be learning and un-blocking together:

  1. Write whatever you are thinking at the moment. It can be random thoughts or frustrations, things that are really on your nerves, your hopes and desires, your dreams for your life or the dream that you had last night. Maybe you have something that you want to say to someone in your life but they are either unavailable or you just don’t know how to bring up that subject with them, whatever the reason and whatever it is, write it down, get it out. You will feel better just doing that. I have been doing this quite a bit lately.
  2. Do other things with your creativity. Color in a coloring book. Paint a picture, even if you feel that you cannot paint, you never know what might come out. Learn some new recipes; food can be an art too. Whatever you do just don’t leave your creativity behind just because you have writer’s block (Sambuchino, 2013).
  3. Get some exercise. I know that this may sound like a cliché but when you move your body and get your blood flowing a little more, your brain also receives some of that blood and that just might help to get your mind moving too (Sambuchino, 2013). This can also help you to de-stress.
  4. Don’t be afraid to ask for a little me time. If you have a big family like me, you know that personal time is nearly impossible to get. Have a talk with your family about getting an hour or so a day for you. You can spend your time writing or just relaxing. I know that this one is a hard one especially if you are a caregiver to your children or parents (I have both) but you need that hour for you. Think of your sanity.
  5. EWW (Editing While Writing), are you guilty of this too? I know I am! You spell a word wrong or use a word wrong and you go back to fix your mistake taking time and losing your thought process at the same time. Just keep going and fix your mistakes when you are through (Tice, n.d.). I love this tip and will be using it myself from now on.
  6. Read anything you can get your hands on! Reading inspires a writer, so if you are feeling a little deflated, pump yourself up with any and all stories that you can find (Tice, n.d.).  Reading begets writing for people like us.
  7. Perfection is not your friend. Let me say that one again…Perfection is not your friend. Writing is not an exact science and we all have our differences. Getting your story out, whatever it may be, is your main goal, right? So, let it out! So what if there is an imperfection here or there, your story is being told and that is what matters (University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, 2013).
  8. Be yourself! I know that this is just another cliché but it really is true. Let Stephen King be Stephen King, let Stephenie Meyer be Stephenie Meyer. They are great writers but they are not you and you are not them, thank God! You are a unique person with your own stories to tell so tell them the way that you would tell them not the other way around.

Getting out of a writer’s block can be a hard thing to do sometimes and other times we are waiting on just the right inspiration to strike us. I have been in my slump for about a month now and it has been killing me. I know that some of you will say “That’s nothing. Mine has lasted for months…”, I know from experience that a block can last different amounts of time and that it is horribly frustrating but I hope that ending my block with this article about how to go about it can help get you going in the right direction to writing again too.

Here’s to writing again!



Sambuchino, C. (2013, May 5). 7 ways to overcome writer’s block. Retrieved from

Tice, C. (n.d.). 20 ways to kill your writer’s block forever. Retrieved from

University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. (2013). Writers workshop: writer resources. Retrieved from


Picture Reference

Greene, M. (2014, November 6). [Computer Keys]. Retrieved from

Quote of the Day

I’m convinced of this: Good done anywhere is good done everywhere. For a change, start by speaking to people rather than walking by them like they’re stones that don’t matter. As long as you’re breathing, it’s never too late to do some good. Maya Angelou
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I have always loved and admired this woman from the time that I was old enough to know who she was. Her wisdom, words and love will forever be in my heart!


Picture Reference

Quote of the Day



“At it’s best, life is completely unpredictable.” Christopher Walken

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Juvenile Arthritis

“My child has arthritis? Isn’t that an old person’s disease?” Many people do not think that arthritis can occur in children and so many children experience pain for months or years before the diagnosis of arthritis is made and treatment begun. Children with arthritis frequently experience difficulty because it is not understood that children […]

via Children Get Arthritis Too. — AutoImmune Chronicles

I Live With Juvenile Arthritis

I am sharing this blog written by AutoImmune Chronicles because I know how little people understand about Juvenile Arthritis (JA), if they even know that it exists at all. It does exist and I am living proof of that fact. When I first got sick my doctor’s had no clue what was wrong with me. They thought that I would eventually get better so they just watched me closely. As months went by and I got sicker they finally started doing more and more tests to find the problem. It took them well over a year to find the right diagnosis. This was all in the 1980’s and back then there was little that the doctors could to help me and they did not know what it could do to me as an adult, if anything. They told my parents that it could just go away on its own but it could come back as an adult. Well, mine stayed with me.

I was diagnosed at the age of 9 with Juvenile Arthritis. Before my diagnosis I was extremely ill for months and was unable to walk at all for a while. Today, I still suffer from JA as well as several other Autoimmune DiseasesFibromyalgia and Peripheral Neuropathy. I got very lucky in the sense that I have not had to have any joint replacements as of yet at the age of 37. However, the joints in my right foot have nearly completely deteriorated and I am unable to walk without something supporting my foot as the pain is unbearable when all of the bones and joints in my foot shift and grind together when I walk. Again, I am very lucky in this whole battle. My JA affects almost all of my joints but I have learned to live with it as I am sure that others like me have done the same.

Today health professionals that study this kind of disease know that when a person grows up with JA, they are more likely to have other Autoimmune Diseases to develop later in life. They know that JA may be a little better when the person is in their teens but as an adult they will still suffer with it. I wish that we had known all of this when I was younger so that we could be prepared for all that is happening now. I want to thank AutoImmune Chronicles for bringing this issue to the forefront. It is one that people should know about and understand. It is one that affects more children and their families than we realize and sharing information on this issue can only help in the fight against it.

Our Journey has Just Begun


My husband and I have been together for TWENTY years! I have always loved him but today I realized that I am so IN LOVE with him that just the act of him stopping me from kissing him….well it sends me into a tizzy that I cannot seem to stop. After loving him for this long I do not know how I could fall more in love with him but I have. I have never felt love like this for anyone. I love our children but they will one day belong to someone else, but I BELONG to and with him and no one else. However, for some reason this all scares the hell out of me because I feel that one wrong move might put me by myself.

We have had so many ups and downs in the past twenty years. We got married young, we had kids young, we have split up, got back together, got divorced, got re-married; we are in constant financial trouble and we both have health issues but it is always him taking care of me when I should be taking care of him. I know that I am a selfish bitch, I get that and I am sorry for it but it is who I am….but then he knew that before I did.

He really pisses me off! A lot! I have tried to push him away, I have tried to make him so mad that he would try to leave (I always try to stop him) and I did make him leave once; I have even left him but I have never been able to handle it. I cannot be without him for too long and these days it seems that I cannot be without him for more than a few hours and that in itself pisses me off!

I know that he has stuck with me through some of the most impossible bullcrap. I am a difficult person, I have a crappy sense of self and I have far too many crazy outbursts but he has stayed with me through it all! I really do not know how he puts up with me the way that he does because honestly half the time I want to run away from me and I really suggest that he does that but I know that he won’t. I just don’t know why….

He has seen more of me than anyone else in this world and he knows me better than I know myself. I have been terrible to him at times and yet he is still here. He has taken care of me when no one else would and in ways that even my best girlfriends probably wouldn’t. He has done things for me that most men would never do no matter how much they loved a woman and I hope that he knows that I understand that and that I love him dearly for it!

I have had a wall between the two of us for a long time now but he has finally managed to get through it (it took him long enough) and in some ways I hate it because that wall was up for a reason but he completely ignored it and I love him for that as well. I have a hard time knowing that my wall has been compromised because I have been hurt with expectations of people loving me, even by him but now that there is a hole in my wall that I cannot fix and I have to trust him not to hurt me.

Our journey through marriage has been a long, crazy, complicated, wonderful, beautiful, exhilarating and loving one. We have been through the birth of three babies and the loss of two. We have watched as all three of our children have grown. We have watched as they started school and as one has finished, started college and recently gotten married herself. We are still working on the other two children and ourselves as we all are still learning this life together. The two of us have been together for so long but our journey has only just begun and it is a journey that I am so excited to be a part of.

Tired of Listening to the World’s Nonsense!


I am so sick and tired of listening to all of the ridiculous nonsense coming out of the world today! Every single day there is another shooting, another bombing, another riot, blacks against whites, whites against blacks, Christians against Muslims, Muslims against Christians…What in the hell is wrong with everyone? Why can’t everyone see that we ALL matter? Every color, creed, sex and religion is important to this world. It makes this world beautiful but yet it seems that today everyone is hell bent on destroying the beauty that has been created for us.

We humans are making this world ugly. For what? Right in this moment we are the most self-loathing bunch of idiots to ever crawl this earth. We know the things that have happened in the past and yet we are still set to repeat it. This is the very definition of insanity! Why is it that most of us cannot see past our own noses to realize that every single life matters? In some way, big or small EVERY LIFE MATTERS! Human, animal, black, white, red, yellow, blue, green, purple, we all matter. We all have to share this home that we call earth as a family but for some reason we all see this life as some kind of sick competition. Life is NOT a competition people!

We are supposed to be united. We are supposed to be the HUMAN RACE, the greatest race to ever walk this earth. If you really think that your COLOR makes you a different race than your neighbor, then you have a real problem because the last time that I checked we were one RACE. HUMANS.  We are supposed to be an intelligent race, but we are losing the intelligence that God gave us to be great so very quickly! We are reverting to nothing more than a bunch of apes fighting needlessly for a piece land or for a warped sense of religion that really does not matter. We do not see one another the way that we should. We are all beautiful extensions of one another, our colors and differences making this world a better place for them but if we are constantly fighting because of those differences then what really separates us from what we know as lesser animals?

I am probably one of the whitest people that you will ever see but yet I am of both Middle Eastern and European descent and proud of that fact. I teach my children that there is no difference in people just because they are of a different color, nationality, religion or any other difference that you can think of. My children do not understand why people are acting in this way. They do not understand why people think that some people’s lives matter over other ones, and honestly I am quite tired of trying to explain all of this to them and make excuses for those people who are acting like they are better than others. We are all that SAME by the way!

Yes, my children are old enough to see what is going on and they are old enough to understand it at least to some extent and I refuse to let them believe that this is the way that God intended for us to act. I refuse to let them believe that they are any better or worse than anyone else on this earth and no matter what happens I refuse to let them believe that this is all that they have to look forward to. I want them to make a change in their world, a change for the better, a change that says that the other “adults” around them are wrong about one another and that all people can live together as one.

I was raised in a “racist” south but I chose NOT to believe the lie of racism. I chose NOT to believe in the lie of race, period! If I get cut then I bleed red and I am willing to bet that all of you do too. I have a human heart (that loves), a human brain (that knows the difference) and a human body that is more or less just like any other human body. All of my parts and pieces are in the same place as yours are and they all work pretty much in the same way. So please tell me what makes us so different? What, our color? Our religion? I am Christian by the way and unafraid to admit it. Is it our place on this earth or our economic status? I am will to bet that our “difference” is really only in the way that we think and feel about things but I see this too as a beautiful thing. It is okay to agree to disagree and it is okay to be different.

I am so tired of “listening” to all of the crap going on the world so I refuse to “listen” anymore. I cannot stop hearing it but I can stop “listening”. I will be part of the solution here and not the problem. ALL LIVES MATTER, humans, animals, plants and anything else that LIVES, we ALL matter.

Picture Reference

Guillebeau, C. (2012, May 3). Listen, understand, act [Alphabet tiles.]. Retrieved from

Lost in a Thousand Different Directions

lostI wrote this several years ago and had forgotten all about it but rediscovered it last night and thought I would share it as I am sure that many feel the same way.


By Brandi Barton Selph 4/3/12

What is it that you want from me?
I thought that it was something bigger and better than this but now I am stuck, wallowing in my own misery as this disease you sent tears me apart from the inside out.
But yet I accept it!!
Constantly, I am convicted of all my wrongs, I want to make amends but you forbid me.
I feel your pull, your tug but I am so lost, so confused.
What I am and what you want me to be must be two different things. I am left totally exposed and beaten. I am so tired!
What is it that you want me to be? You pull and you tug but I am lost in a thousand different directions! I don’t know which way to turn, sometimes going up feels like going down.
I know this bed is not where you want me to be but when I try to leave I am blocked in a thousand different directions. I need some space to move!
You pull and you tug!
You pull and you tug!
I am falling farther behind!
My life and what it is supposed to be is flowing like water through my hands, lost through my fingers in a thousand different directions.
You pull and you tug!
I am tired of this tug of war! Can we play another game now? Can I make the rules this time? Am I allowed to know the direction in which we are going?
Up or down? Surely, I am headed in the wrong direction!
I feel as though I am running for my life without making a move. I need to move! But the pain that has been given to me grows with every twitch!
I can’t but I can at the same time! How’s that?
This must be some cruel joke!
Strong of mind but the strength of the body is sucked away minute by minute, slowly killing my spirit. My soul fighting to take flight! But I am grounded. For what?
It knows not where to go.
Because I am lost in a thousand different directions!!

The Slow Hard Burn

fire and lightning

The burn starts low and dull. The beginning embers of a torturous inferno, it is sure to start small, to fool, and to deceive. At first you believe that you will be okay, that the slow burn will somehow be put out but as you try to snuff it out, cool it down but, it still grows and grows.

The burn, this burn can only is described as one standing in the middle of a bon-fire connected to a power line, surrounded by a very mad hornet’s nest while simultaneously being stabbed and struck by lightning.

What is this burn? This burn is hell…hell on earth, this burn is Fibromyalgia and Peripheral Neuropathy and I have them both.

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